My Kitchen Window

From Simpli-Country

I actually wrote the following last week, but had nowhere to post until I created Simpli-Country:

I often ponder life as I wash dishes and look out my kitchen window. As I look out the window and watch the changes in my world around me today, I am reminded that the one thing that is constant in life is that it will change.

Washing dishes today, I watched the cardinals flying to the feeder and the snow melting because of our nice February thaw. A titmouse flies onto the porch to steal some of the suet that I made that I left sitting on the table. He is too impatient to wait for me to put it in the suet feeder. As I watched the titmouse, I noticed the breeze blowing the leaves of the magnolia tree. I could see that the breeze is coming from the south and realize that change is only a few short weeks away.

The breeze and the melting snow reminded me of life’s constant changes. I know that change is coming. In a few short weeks, we’ll be watching the crocus, daffodils and tulips that Pat & I planted last fall shoot up and grace us with their lovely blooms and the trees bursting into bloom.

I see the empty hanger where our hummingbird feeder resides in the summer. I know that it will be full of hummingbirds by May. Thinking of the hummingbirds reminds me that in only a few more months we’ll be planting and then watching our garden grow. By the end of summer and into the fall, our garden will be ripe with the fruits of our labor and beautiful fall colors will be decorating the mountains, which will be followed by leaves falling and snow falling down once again.

All this thinking about change reminded me that less than a year ago, I didn’t have a kitchen window. I lived in an apartment in the city. I was traveling every weekend to the country to see the man that I had fallen in love with … Pat. A year before that, I was in a deep depression over the slow painful death of another romantic relationship. After that relationship ended, I vowed to guard my heart from further pain, but, despite my vow, Pat managed to romance me and bulldoze his way straight to my heart. Due to his love, my life once again changed and my current happiness was born.

If I had resisted change in my life, I never would have found happiness again with Pat. If at any point in my 51 years of life, I had neglected my usual mantra of “This too shall pass” when times got rough, I would have not made it through to find my current happiness and satisfaction in life that I often thought was lost.

Yet, if there is an irony to my life now, it is that I am living a life that I once swore would never be mine … a housewife. The true irony of the situation is that at the age to 28, I repeatedly told my now ex-husband that if he wanted a “housewife” don’t marry me.

Being a housewife was never my intention when I moved here to be with Pat. I have sent out numerous resumes and I continue to pour over the job ads several times a week in hopes of finding a nice office job somewhere. Unfortunately, in this time of economic turmoil, I have not had any success.

My how times change … if I have learned anything in this life, it is that if we want to be happy, we learn to change and adapt. Perhaps one day the economy will change and I will find employment. In the meantime, I will savor being a housewife. It is no hardship at all. I have discovered a profound happiness and satisfaction in taking care of Pat, our dog Spike, our cat Brat, our yard and our home.

Pat often (somewhat reluctantly, I might add) offers to wash the dishes. I know he hates working in the kitchen and turn him down … not just for his sake, but for mine too. The kitchen window and warm flow of water over my hands gives me time to stand still, look outside (sometimes longingly) and reflect. I don’t think Pat has any idea (although he will now) what I am doing as I wash dishes and gaze out the kitchen window … I’m finding my inner peace and savoring life.

All these thoughts flit through my mind as I wash dishes and look out my kitchen window. Sometimes the view distracts me to the point that when the dishes are put in the drainer, I see a spot that I missed and have to start all over washing the dish. Not that I mind, it just means more time to look out my kitchen window and think.

Today as I look outside, I see the gazebo that Pat and I often sat to cool off after working in the garden last summer and also spent hours entertaining our family and friends … it is destroyed now due to an over abundance of snow last week. I’m sad to see it go, but I know that something just as good or better will spring up where it once stood. After all, life is full of changes and, with those changes, you often lose things you value to discover a different happiness and life that is even more precious.